I always heard my parents say ”Time flies” and never knew what they meant by it. Today as I have started growing up and entering the adult phase of my life, I realised that as you start growing up, everything around you changes. As I look back upon the old times, I realised that from the size of my clothes to the technologies I use in daily lives, everything has evolved, but who’s to say if it is for good or for bad? It is usually believed that ”Change is good” but in my opinion, change is only good when it results in bringing about some positive outcomes in your lives. For example, when I was a young kid, back in those times we did not have easy access to digital technologies like mobile phones, tablets and social media like, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. But on the contrary, kids these days, have mobiles and tablets from very young ages. They are constantly involved in the virtual reality of the social media world rather than having some ”real” friends. Rather than playing outdoor games, toddlers are more interested in playing virtual games on their mobile phones. The kids are now truly smarter than the ”smartphones”. So in this case, even though the lives of today’s young generation has changed due to the invention of the social media world, I would still prefer having a cup of coffee with my friend, face to face rather than chatting with them online!
Today I am writing this blog to tell my personal story of how the usage of social media has overpowered our lives and how I make use of it in my everyday life. I will also talk about how my life has changed since I started using social media and has it benefited me in some ways or not. According to Hobbs, Owen and Gerber (2017), the usage of social media websites like Facebook, Instagram and dating apps like Tinder, has changed the meaning of ‘true love’. People, especially the young generation, aged between 18-30 years, these days are so busy making virtual connections that they have forgotten the value of ‘real intimacy’ and real connections. After the invent of online dating apps, like Tinder, people no longer use the traditional methods of meeting their partners but rather prefer finding them through a virtual online world. Talking about my personal usage of these social media websites, it can be said that even I use online dating apps like, Tinder, as a medium of finding true love in my life. Everyday, I spend about 45 minutes to 1 hour on apps like Facebook and Tinder. Personally, I use Tinder for only specific reasons like, dating but on the other hand, I use Facebook for multiple reasons.
Facebook helps me in not only connecting with my probable life partner but also maintain deep true connections with my friends overseas. As I have recently moved from my home country, to a totally different continent, websites like Facebook, help me stay in touch with my school time buddies. It also helps me in connecting with my family members and talk to them via messenger. I also use the ‘video calling’ facility to speak with my parents on daily basis. Although these were some of the benefits of using Facebook, there are some disadvantages too. On one hand, if it helps me stay in touch with my family, it also distracts me while I am doing something important, like, studying. As my phone keeps popping with notifications, my mind gets distracted and my focus shifts from studying to scrolling Facebook. This shift in focus results in waste of my time and energy. Even though Facebook helps me maintain connections with my friends who are far away, but at the same time, it also eats up the time I could use to physically talk with my friends who are sometimes sitting right next to me. These days, it is very common to notice, two young people sitting next to each other but still talking to others via their phones.
Additionally, talking about my usage of dating apps like, Tinder, it can be said that I use such apps occasionally to make intimate connections. Newett, Churchill and Robards (2017) conducted a study on the usage of Tinder by young generation, particularly in Australia and found that most of the young generation uses dating apps like Tinder, to create intimate connections by finding their digital matches and then meeting them face to face. They also suggested that even though young generation in Australia uses Tinder to find their possible lovers, they still fail to develop real connections with them. Therefore, social life for people who use Tinder and other such applications, is defined by their online world that is created in their bubble of social media. The findings of Newett, Churchill and Robards (2017) are also consistent with my friends’stories of their usage of websites like, Tinder. When I interviewed one of my friends asking about her daily usage of Tinder specifically, she claimed that ”Tinder helps me feel good about myself, specifically when someone approaches me and aks me out on a date”. Hobbs et al. (2016) also found that Tinder users mostly focus on creating the most appealing self- profile in order to potray their best selves to the viewers. This finding was particularly true in case of me and my friends. When asked about how important was it for them to look good in their profile pictures, it was collectively suggested that it was more important to look presentable online in comparison to their real lives. My friends suggested that it usually takes them good 5 to 10 edits before posting their pictures online. It was suggested that looking perfect on social media was not only everybody’s dream but also now a requirement.
Although some of us might feel that Tinder is a good way to find our life partners, the study conducted by Newett, Churchill and Robards (2017) also suggested that Tinder might only be used by some people as a way of spicing up their ‘sex’ lives. The findings of their study suggested that some people only use Tinder to find dates and get sexually involved with them. Thus some people are not looking for long term relationships and commitments but only what is coined as ‘hook ups’. In my opinion, my personal life agenda is quite different to that. Even I use Tinder but certainly not for the same reasons. My reasons for finding my love partner revolve around the idea of long-term relations, loyalty and commitment. I would any day prefer using Tinder to make real connections rather than settling for some hookups. Whenever I use Tinder in my regular life, the only reason is to try and meet new people and see if somebody’s interests match mine or not. And when they do, that is when I try and stay in touch with those people. This helps me in not only finding a perfect romantic partner but also making some close friends.
Newett, Churchill and Robards (2017) also claimed that when they conducted a survey to find the reasons as to why some some people used Tinder as a dating app, they found that a large group of youngsters used Tinder in order to ‘meet new people’, improve their sex lives and develop real intimate connections. As a part of the survey, participants were also asked to state whether or not did they feel that the usage of dating apps like, Tinder, had changed their perception of dating life and intimacy. More than half the participants claimed that after using apps like Tinder, their perception on dating, intimacy and relationships had changed. Now they viewed relationships as something that people get into to escape their loneliness rather than the idea of love and being loved. In my opinion, the findings of this survey are justified as it is true that the young generation these days is looking for more hook ups than serious relationships and Tinder helps them in getting so.
Thus, in my opinion, while social media can prove to be of use to some people, some people on the other hand might use it for just passing their time. The use of social media totally depends on the individuals personal choices and lifestyle. Talking about myself, I use social media websites like Facebook and dating apps like, Tinder to meet new people, develop intimate relationships and make connections with people. Not only this I also use social media to maintain my relationships with my family and friends. I use Facebook to stay in touch with my family back home and talk to them on daily basis. In comparison to Tinder, it is definitive that I personally use Facebook more than Tinder. Tinder is an app that I use occasionally to allow myself to explore the world around me, build new relations and possibly find my love partner. Having said so, it is clear that social media holds a lot of importance in my life and helps me maintain relations with my social circle. It has almost become an inevitable part of my everyday life and its importance is only increasing day by day. Social media has thus not only become a medium of conversations in our lives but also a medium of ‘survival’.
Thank you for taking out the time to read this blog post!
Anshika's World 